Weight gain. It happens to the best of us. I've been battling with it for a while now, and I've finally accepted it's time to let go of the jeans from when I was 16 that were hanging in the back of my wardrobe.
The stress and mental toll that weight gain put on my self esteem is far higher than I ever thought it would be. It creeps up on you at the worst moments, and causes anxiety attacks about what to wear to a meal out that's comfortable enough to eat in, but still looks nice.
There's two steps to dressing after weight gain - reduce, then expand (don't worry I'm not talking about your waistline!).
Reduce
Pretty much what it says on the tin - reduce the amount of clothing you have.
Now we all say - "I loved that pair of jeans and wore them all the time when I was 18!". Great. But you're not 18 anymore. And even if you lost weight, it's likely they will never fit you the same way again. I know that sounds harsh but it's true. They may go on, but they won't feel the same, or look the same.
I'm sure most of you have now heard of Marie Kondo and her "Does this item spark joy?" idea. You have to apply this to your wardrobe.
You will never learn to love yourself as you are if you're still holding on to clothes that are two sizes too small. Clothes that fit you will always look better. No one wants to look like a string wrapped piece of meat - appealing image I know.
There are obvious exceptions, but don't go holding onto damaged, old or cheap clothing just because you once wore it on a really good date or something. The best thing to do - as horrid as it is - set aside a few hours to try on your entire wardrobe. Anything that doesn't fit, or gives you horrid lumps and bumps, put into a pile. Then take that pile and donate it (or recycle if it's really damaged).
Tip: Love your Clothes have an amazing section on what to do with unwanted and damaged clothes.
It took me two days in total, and I didn't get rid of as much as I'd wanted to, but I got rid of a hell of a lot. I also fell back in love with some old clothes that I hadn't worn in months.
Now on to Step 2:
Expand
Simple - go out and buy a few key items that you feel beautiful in.
Now Aberystwyth is not known for its plethora of high street clothing shops, so with our Worcester trip coming up, I decided that would be the perfect opportunity to shop. I set aside some money and time, and headed out with my trusty boyfriend B in tow - don't ask me why he decided to come, I really don't think he enjoyed it very much.
I discovered this list that really helped when trying to decide what sort of clothes I should be buying. There's loads of really good information on there and I'd highly recommend a read, but the key pieces of information I took away from this were:
If you carry weight around your hips and thighs but your waist is small, choose a belted dress with a looser skirt.
Tunics paired with leggings, and tops worn with dark wash bootcut jeans are all great options for everyone because they are both forgiving and flattering.
Wrap dresses are also a great choice for most women because the waist helps to create a flattering hourglass shape.
And no matter your body type, you can’t go wrong with long cardigans (belted or unbelted), V-neck tees and shirts, and tailored outfits.
Full credit to The Three Tomatoes for the items on this list.
So, armed with this information I headed on out shopping, and quickly found a beautiful light blue wrap dress and a soft pink dress with lacing up the front (it wasn't on my list but I put it on and felt like a princess so I just had to buy it!).
Next I went to cheap high street heaven - Primark - and bought some leggings to go under dresses and tunics - and because I'm a sucker for them, a really cute pair of pyjama trousers. I would live in them if I could!
Next on the list was some dark bootcut jeans. Now I am an avid fan of flared jeans, and I knew this was my chance to get a pair. I tried on a few pairs in H&M but they didn't have many and unfortunately none that I loved in my size - so I hopped on the old interweb and bought myself a pair. Next stop - a top to go with them. ideally some kind of shirt.
As BHF is a charity we particularly support I decided the next stop would be in one of their charity shops, where I found a beautiful mesh navy shirt, originally from Dorothy Perkins, and a turquoise wrap style top, that was a bit more occasion wear. And that pretty much completed my haul. I had found enough items to create 3 or 4 different outfits, all of which suited me and were so comfortable.
I, in true Jen fashion, did not stop here, and actually went online and spent some more money in Boohoo, buying a floor length white skirt (which looks great with the turquoise top!), a stunning floaty blue dress, and a pink wrap dress - which didn't look like the picture but is still really flattering and would be gorgeous over a slip (it's a bit see-through...).
With this splurge of spending, I managed to find some items that were comfortable and beautiful and made me feel beautiful. And that really is the most important thing. I followed The Three Tomatoes advice and ignored the label and focused on what made me feel happy, and it's made such a difference to how I dress and carry myself.
I do understand the reservations behind buying new clothes because there's the constant thoughts; "it's a waste of money because I'm going to lose this weight", and I get it. I lived in that mindset for far too long. Because yes, I may lose the weight and not need these clothes anymore, but it will have been much better for my self-esteem and mental health to be able to love the way I look at all times.
I also understand that not everyone can afford to go out buying loads of clothes from high street shops - if you can, I would really suggest charity shops. You can get so much amazing stuff there, and some of the smaller 'pop-up' shops often have things for as little as £1! Obviously you won't get everything you want, particularly at that sort of price, but you can often find a few good items, and just think - those clothes you donated in the first half will be there in a shop for someone else to go in and buy. A Circle of Clothes Life for Clothes if you will (casual little Lion King reference there for anyone who hasn't read my review). For anyone interested in charity shopping there's some really interesting articles over at The Spirited Thrifter, which may help.
Another thing to add if you're trying to lose weight- buying new clothes that fit is not a barrier to losing weight, and will not stop you from your weight loss journey if that matters to you. All you're doing is finding clothes that actually fit, and that is not a crime! It's okay to embrace this 'transition' period and actually allow yourself to feel good in your body and clothes.
No matter what the label or the scale says, remember that you're still you. You are not defined by these numbers. It's absolutely fine to want to lose weight, but it's also fine to not want to. Just remember to love yourself and if you're ever in doubt, just wear whatever you want. Wear the craziest outfit in the world if that's what makes you happy. You're strongest when you're just being yourself.
You've got this.
Hwyl am nawr,
J x
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